Friday, 26 March 2010
No Time!
My friend once said that i should just pack my days full of activities and be super busy. So that i can be a happier Cal by emoing less. Too much free time and don't feel like studying equals to emo time. How true is that? Maybe i should try packing my days with lots of activities. It sort of a double edged sword, cuz if i have too much activities i won't have time to study, if i even study at all.
I should start going for some exercise. Maybe it would help to cleanse the mind of impurities. Keeping fit is something good. Maybe i should just return to the waters. Pick up my paddle and crash against the waves. I’m not sure if Michael would follow me if i made this crazy and unthinkable step. If he would, we could easily return to our K2 days before the coach split us back then for me to do K1 and him to do K2 with someone else. But if he’s not keen, i think i wouldn’t even return to the water at all. The times are different now. We are not as fit as before now. I believe the balancing skills would never be lost but physically we’re a pale shadow now. Michael went for an operation on his shoulder during army time. Maybe he would not be able to take such strain again. Army robbed us of our health. How ironic.
Why is everything so familiar? I know that i shouldn't screw up the present for the future to be bright. But that's easier said than done. I always start very badly no matter wad i do. Primary school, secondary school, jc, army... Everything. You name it. Everything now is so familiar. It’s happening again. I always end up doing something which i swore not to do again.
When will things improve for me? When will the zai cal be found? A screwed up present now, a bleak future ahead.
I dunno where the zai cal went. He's hiding somewhere. He always come out (or rather, i find him) near to the end of everything. But hello! Time is running out. This is university. The results are cumulative. Results cannot be salvaged at the end. So there's no time! i better find him soon.
Wise words from another friend of mine. “Success? I’ll go for power and money first. The rest would soon follow suit.”
Wad am i heading towards then? I have no idea. I’ll tell you when i find the zai cal alrights.
Cal
found sought peace at 21:37.
